[ there's a moment of silence, and then a(n obviously faked) dramatic sob. it builds to a low wail, and... then continues in that vein for about 45 seconds. if Tobias actually manages to get through all that, at the very end it stops abruptly, replaced by a very smug-sounding Jan: ]
[ 13th: This one starts out with the same wailing, but only goes for 40 seconds before he suddenly cuts off into, apparently, arguing with someone, and the call cuts out. ]
[ 14th: Today our hero starts gamely into the wailing sobs, but at about 30 seconds in, he loses interest entirely. The next 3 minutes will be a long, rambling story about the time he and Luke (domestic partner? brother? friend he's super dependent on? hard to tell) nearly got arrested trying to dispose of a body, but ended up escaping to Guatemala with three hookers for cover. ]
[ 15th: He starts the call having forgotten, apparently, that it's supposed to be about wailing, and just gets straight to an even longer, more tangent-filled ramble about another hooker adventure, filled with at least 20 different female names. They repeat a few times, and he seems to be making them up as he goes. Right at the end he remembers to do 20 seconds of loud crying. ]
[ 16th: Now he's just talking about whales. Not even any crying pretense, but he keeps calling them "bitches of the sea", and there's no discernible point to this ramble. ]
[he lets it ring. He lets it ring so many times but the damn little thing won't stop buzzing and he's trying to sleep and he can't figure out how to make the damn thing silent so - ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voicemail, the day after SOMEONE hung up on him
Date: 2013-10-12 12:12 am (UTC)Day one, bitch.
[ and he's out. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-10-14 05:07 am (UTC)Beecher is going to get so tired this, so quickly.]
more voicemails!! pretend i was on time.........
Date: 2013-10-16 04:14 pm (UTC)[ 14th: Today our hero starts gamely into the wailing sobs, but at about 30 seconds in, he loses interest entirely. The next 3 minutes will be a long, rambling story about the time he and Luke (domestic partner? brother? friend he's super dependent on? hard to tell) nearly got arrested trying to dispose of a body, but ended up escaping to Guatemala with three hookers for cover. ]
[ 15th: He starts the call having forgotten, apparently, that it's supposed to be about wailing, and just gets straight to an even longer, more tangent-filled ramble about another hooker adventure, filled with at least 20 different female names. They repeat a few times, and he seems to be making them up as he goes. Right at the end he remembers to do 20 seconds of loud crying. ]
[ 16th: Now he's just talking about whales. Not even any crying pretense, but he keeps calling them "bitches of the sea", and there's no discernible point to this ramble. ]
no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 03:14 am (UTC)...He's going to kill him. He's going to just shove a shank into this idiot's throat and hope that shuts him up. Jesus Christ.]
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Date: 2013-10-18 04:43 am (UTC)do you pick up, mr beecher?? ]
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Date: 2013-10-18 05:16 am (UTC)- What? What do you want, asshole?
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Date: 2013-10-18 05:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:30 am (UTC)Or a shank in the back. I can't decide.
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Date: 2013-10-18 05:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:38 am (UTC)What the fuck's Oz?
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Date: 2013-10-18 05:42 am (UTC)The Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. [with a drawl.] Prison.
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Date: 2013-10-18 05:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:51 am (UTC)... [but he can't help the little smirk as he adds] What's better, is they called the wing I was in "Emerald City".
no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:53 am (UTC)[ a beat ]
Holy shit, those fucknuts weren't kidding around. Were they aiming to have everyone there sparkly prancing fairies by the time they were out?
no subject
Date: 2013-10-18 05:55 am (UTC)Probably, honestly. Anything to reform people. [great fucking job they did, too. Asswipes.]
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Date: 2013-10-18 05:57 am (UTC)Anyway, good thing you busted outta there and jailbroke to the moon, huh!
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Date: 2013-10-18 06:04 am (UTC)Oh yeah. Great move, trading one prison for another. You can't tell me you're happy up here. Why else would you be bothering me?
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Date: 2013-10-18 06:27 am (UTC)Are you kidding me?! I get to take walks on the moon! [ a beat. ] Which is actually really fucking boring when you get over the bouncing.
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Date: 2013-10-20 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-20 09:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-20 09:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-20 09:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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